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About Me Member General Addict 4nim3-Sg-1-fr34k17/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Statistics 27 Deviations
2,113 Comments
4,376 Pageviews

it's all a...fantasy

"Damien was lifting the gun. He had no idea wat was about to happen to him."

"I tried to feel the gun. I tried to viulize taking control again."

"I couldn't stop it."

It's all a...

Fanstasy

deviantID

well, its been 4 months now and I'm finally at a point of recollection and awareness. I kno who I am and what i wanna be. i kno wut i can do and wut i cant. I'm also at a point where health is an issue, so if u could keep me in your prayers, that'd be really appreciated. :) :love:z u all!!

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: stationary in my own reality
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: uhh.. normal?
  • Print preference: Arial
  • Interests: just ask becuz i cant narrow it down.
  • Favourite movie: all things from Riddick to Mamma Mia(chick flick)-not horror
  • Favourite band or musician: Daughtry and anythin else
  • Favourite genre of music: anything cept country
  • Favourite artist: ....
  • Favourite poet or writer: Emily Dickenson
  • Favourite photographer: Tillikum...i just love Irwin^^
  • Favourite style of art: umm..
  • MP3 player of choice: ipod
  • Wallpaper of choice: basic pic.
  • Favourite game: Guild Wars(but want Stargate)
  • Favourite cartoon character: Zuko/Batman/Wolverine/Beast Boy/Kevin Levin/
  • Personal Quote: "a woman should not have to rely on the protection of man, but be taught to protect herself&
  • Tools of the Trade: pencil...

Changes

Sat Feb 7, 2009, 12:20 PM
  • Mood: Agony
  • Listening to: Get Out Alive-Three Days Grace
  • Reading: the journal
  • Watching: ...the screen(yes I'm a smartass)
  • Playing: guild wars
  • Eating: Nerds
  • Drinking: nuthing
They say that change occurs like a river, everything effecting everthing else. That's true. People effect other people. Circumstances effect other circumstances and they merge and battle against one another.

Recently I have been undergoing a phase,one of which I believe many go through but still, and in this includes circumstances which go beyond my control.

As I have stated in my DevID I've been going through a transformation and re-evalutation of my own beleifs. What is Life? What is Truth? How can we trust and "beleive" the Body and Mind, when "God" says their evil? How can we trust our own Memories or our own perceptions of Reality? How can we trust ourselves to be "good" when all of humanity is said to be "evil"? What constitutes Good anyway? God? How can he let us live in this state of confusion and dismay?

I have been brought up Catholic/Christian. It has been integrated into my being that there is some "higher being" be it God or another deity. This is fine, if that were all that I believed.

This brought me into depression because on the other hand, I have the scientist(the worldy view) of my life. As I have been introduced into the Truth Project(a dvd based program for Christians undergoing a faith based cisis) I'm thrown into what they say is the Cosmic Battle. Lie/Illusion vs. Truth/Reality. World vs God. Good vs. Evil. *sigh*

Now, I found out that I have (although not fatal, its till hurts like shit) bilateral tycts on my ovaries. This combined with the left-hemisphere brain slowing(according to doctors on which I'm still being tested) causes me to think the worst and that I'm being punished for trying to understand such a taboo subject and that I'm dying ..slowly...but faster than others. The physical me is soon to not exsist.

Then my friend's mother had mentioned that maybe its more of an opportunity. I have seen an increased in my phychological and analytical mind, versus my scientific and factual mind. :shrug: but I'm not one to be optimistic.

I dont know where I stand and... I don't know who I am anymore.

Any ideas? Anybody going through something like this?

well...*sigh*

rant over,
Tashi

deviantART Community Board

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Journal History

Comments


:icondorialine:
Thanks for the fav ^^

--
I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If you do too and aren't scared to admit it, copy and paste this in your signature.

The good thing about my name is, no one will never have my username.

I dare you click [link]
:iconlolitaxlolita:
thanks for the fave! :dummy:

--
:bulletpurple: Your MOM is illogical :bulletpurple:
:icon4nim3-sg-1-fr34k:
not a problem :dance:

--
Prologue edited: "Long ago, we were created....We live. This is our purpose. Now we have found the Truth. This is our story. First Entry-Overshadowed
hates wen she cant sleep..*sigh*
:iconsh3rrybe3r:
thanks for the fav :thanks:

--
(\ /)
( . .)
c('' )('' ) THIS is BunnY.
:icon4nim3-sg-1-fr34k:
np :hug:

--
Prologue edited: "Long ago, we were created....We live. This is our purpose. Now we have found the Truth. This is our story. First Entry-Overshadowed
hates wen she cant sleep..*sigh*
:iconpiratesmiley:
thanks for the fave! :D

--
Olivia: And I thought you were a card-carrying cynic.
Peter: I am. But there’s an argument to be made that beneath every cynic there’s a frustrated romantic.
- Fringe, 1x18 "Midnight"
:icon4nim3-sg-1-fr34k:
:XD: not a prob!

--
Prologue edited: "Long ago, we were created....We live. This is our purpose. Now we have found the Truth. This is our story. First Entry-Overshadowed
hates wen she cant sleep..*sigh*
:iconkyuuketsukigirl-15:
Thank you soo much for the faves :)

--
Bones is the best show on TV
-
Booth: Reason for wanting a gun?
Bones: To shoot people.
Booth: Not a good response.
:icon4nim3-sg-1-fr34k:
np :D

--
Prologue edited: "Long ago, we were created....We live. This is our purpose. Now we have found the Truth. This is our story. First Entry-Overshadowed
hates wen she cant sleep..*sigh*
:iconcatwhiskas:
zank you for zeh fav!

--
And I'll cater
with all the birds that I can kill.
Let their tiny feathers fill
disappointment.
Lie down;
lick the sorrow from your skin.
Scratch the terror and begin
to believe you're strong.

-Plea from a cat named virtue, The Weakerthans

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